Tempe Trip Recap

As everyone and their mom now knows, I went to Tempe, Arizona at the end of December. I went with two long time friends in Kirby Gerken and Joe Lavin.

Our Adventure started out early on Friday December 29, 2005. I picked up Lavin at 4:00am I believe. We traveled to Kirby’s house and were off to Detroit Metro by 4:30am.

I’ve never been to the airport in Detroit. I’ve actually only flew one other time on a mijor airline, Vegas Baby. I can’t talk about Vegas, cause everything I did and didn’t do is lost there. I can’t talk about it unless we are in Vegas. But anyway, that is another story. Onward. Once we got to the airport we were clueless as to where we parked. We figured it out, but it was costly, we parked right across from the terminal and the raped us for $15 bones a day.

Once we figured out the parking situation we made our way to the ticket counter where I printed our boarding passes and checked our luggage. Getting through security was not a big deal, but those people are clueless, They only look for obvious things. On the way to the terminal I said hello to a Football Coach from Purdue. It was not Joe Tiller, originally from Toledo, and I have yet to figure out who he was. But, I aspire to coach in a NCAA D1 program, so it caught my attention.

Once we got to our Terminal I spotted Brooke and Tiff. They too are originally from Napoleon. They told me that Dan had got them tickets. Dan is a Tackle for Ohio State. I had the luxury of coaching him at Napoleon. Brooke and Tiff informed us that Lange, DUT, McColley, and Bush were on the previous fight that left even earlier than our ass crack of the morning flight.

While waiting for the plane to board we took advantage of a local pub. We downed a couple cold golds there at the airport. Our Vacation was officially underway.

Kirby had never flown before, so he sat next to me. I’ve known Kirby since we were in Kindergarten together. Joe had to sit by himself, because that’s how it works when you go hunting for cheap flights.

The flight was long and uncomfortable, but being 6’5’’ and crammed in an airplain is like being a sardine in a can. The flight was smooth, and the landing was incredible, I never felt us touch down. It was smooth, like the cool side of a pillow.

The Houston Airport sucked ass. We spent nearly 3 hours there. It was hot and seemed to not have climate control. It was really dirty. I don’t recall it being that way last time I was there. We ate dinner, I had Harlan’s BBQ. It was tasty. I consumed the largest baked potato I’ve ever seen. It must have been a foot long.

We then hit up another bar, it was like being in the heart of Longhorn Land, everything Burnt Orange. I talked with an Oil tycoon, or rather a oil construction tycoon alongside a man from Florida that liked football.

We finally made our plane and arrived in Phoenix. It was beautiful there, the weather perfect. After a bit of confusion finding our luggage we were off to the curb waiting for our shuttle to the hotel.

The shuttle driver was in his mid 20’s. He looked like he was a roadie for some band. A little crazy if you will. He gave us the scoop and told us things to do. We arrived to the hotel and checked in. A argued momentary with the desk guy because the room price was off but Kirby opened his mouth to soon for me to save any money.

We got situated in our Hotel. We discussed that our hotel was nice, but not as nice as we were led to believe from the online pictures.

I called Jeff and Susie Wagner to let them know where were stating so that we could get together when they got in.

It was evening and we made our way out on the town to check out the stadium. Apon arrival to the stadium, I wished that I had picked up my press credentials earlier because it was open for tour. But I didn’t have the opportunity to go in that night, but it would happen later.

We then made our way to a bar named Fumbles. It was just across the street form the stadium. We purchased a few shirts form some street vendors on the way. Once we got to the bar, Coors was putting up banners and advertisements everywhere. I asked them if we could have a couple and they told me that they could give us one when they were done as long as we drank Coors. So into Fumbles we fumbled and ordered several rounds of bullets. The Coors Lite guys came in an asked me which poster I’d prefer and then delivered. It was a great start to the trip. The banner is now in the barn here at home for all to see and admire.

One o f Lavins friends lived in the greater Phoenix area and he met us there. He then took us out and about. We went to Mill Avenue. Mill is like High street or Lane in Columbus. Lots of great bars and really a cool downtown strip. There weren’t a lot of people out, but enough.

We ate at Uno’s. Everyone was starving. I had Pizza, an Uno’s classic. It was good.

We then headed to a bar called Margarita Rocks. It was like the movie cocktail. The bartenders were brathing and fire and throwing bottles. Neat. The eye candy was amazing. There were go go dancers with ripped abs of steel and bronzed bodies. Not to mention the tiny and revealing clothing. Needless to say this was a great bar.

We then headed back to the hotel around 2:00am Phoenix time, 4:00am Eastern Time.

The next day We got up and I called a Taxi to take us to scotsdale so I could get my Media Credentials for the sideline pass. The Taxi ran me almost $30 bucks. It was brutal, but well worth it. I checked in flawlessly. I was a little nervous cause I didn’t want to fuck anything up and botch an opportunity of a life time. I checked in, and received a great Fiesta Bowl Laptop Bag. My friends and I loaded up on Media guides and programs. We snagged some beverages. Though I need to come back to Scotsdale cause they went taking pictures for the id until 1:00pm. So we looked around the massive hotel and found the media shuttle service. We learned that the shuttle was at our disposal until the game was over, meaning I spent $30 bucks on a carbide when I could have called these guys. But it worked out, caus ewe used the shuttle several times.

We decided to take the shuttle to McDoughy’s. McDoughy’s is the number 5 sports bar in the country according to Sports Illustrated. I’ve been to 2 of the top 50. Nemo’s in Detroit being the other. We walk in an immediately are asked to sit behind the fox sports anchor doing an interview with Joe Germaine. So we drank a beer and were on Fox Sports. We then found a booth and ate dinner. Our Waitress was extremely nice, and easy on the eyes. This Bar put Ricks Sports bar in Napoleon to shame. This is a true Sports bar. The bar had memorabilia everywhere. The neatest was a tribute to fallen soldier and football great Pat Tillman. They also had off track horse betting which we did not partake in.

After Lunch I called the shuttle up and they came and picked us up and took us back to Scottsdale to get my credential id. While there I saw Earl Bruce. Coach Bruce took over for Woody after his firing at Ohio State. After getting my credential we got yet another shuttle to the hotel.

We Got a hold of Jeff and Susie and they decided to stay in Scottsdale for New Years.. We got ready for the big block party in the Mill Ave. Area.

We hiked up to Mill and got in. The rumor was that it had sold out. It was full, but not sold out. The guys bought tickets from scalpers for face value. I got in free with my media pin.

At the Block Party they were passing out everything Tostitos, chips, salsa, everything.
We went to the first Beer Garden and ran into Lindsay Hire and her Fiancé. Ironically she had moved out there with the Chase Credit Card Company, who owns everything there. We talked for a while and then went ton our way to another bar or Beer Garden.

When we got to the next Garden, they were again id’en . The guy looked at the three of our id’s and said Napoloen, you must be the sixth person from Napoloen tonight. Soon we found the others form Napoleon, the Baughmans. We hung out there talking to them and drinking mad amounts of the Silver Bullet. The cutest girl serving turns out was form Ohio. I talked to her everytime I got a beer. I can imagine I was mumbling by the end of the night.

We called everyone we knew out east to say happy New Year. But we had two hours left befor 2006 for us. So we made our way down the street and ended up at Fat Burger. Fat Burger was selling Corona. So we had six or ten. We saw the other people form Naptown there; Lange, Dut, Mcolley, Bush, and Brooke and Tiff. We stayed there until the countdown. Near the countdown, the guys went running to find the chip, it was a giant facsimile of the ball in New York. The girls and my two friends stayed around the fat burger. During the countdown a pretty cute girl came up to me and wished me happy new year with a random kiss. Then she was off. Too bad for me cause she was cute.

Kirby disappeared to god only knows, but he left me a message saying he was ok, and would meet us back at the hotel. So Joe and I went to Hooters were we tried to sober up by drinking. That didn’t work so much. We socialized out on the balcony. When we decided to leave we were barraged by some girls eating. They wanted random pictures of us with them, so I imagine I’ll end up in Maxim in that section called who the hell is this.
They were form Ohio State. We talked a little and then left.

Joe was so hammered. I thought that he might not make it back, or worse I’d have to fireman carry him back to the hotel. I know no worse of a red flag than that. It screems pull me over and arrest me for public intox. But he sobered up on the walk home.

On the walk home we encountered a girl who was trying to get a way form her boyfriend. She was basicly saying he hit her. So she was walking with us, and then the boyfriend came looking for her. They were arguing, and I didn’t want to get into it with him, but I wasn’t going to leave her there. She was hysterical. Thankfully the boyfriend left when some of her girlfriends came. So we made sure they would be ok, and continued on.

We got back to the Hotel and chatted with Kirbs, and his friend. We went to bed after shooting the shit for a bit.

Got up Sunday morning when Jeff and Susie called. The called from on top of the mountain near Sun Devil Stadium. I didn’t make the hike, but will if I go back.

We decided to spend the day together. We wento out to breakfast lunch around noon. We went to the Mill Avenue area. It was remarkably cleaned up already.

Susie wanted to eat at Z tejas. We just couldn’t find it. We drove around and finally I spotted it. Jeff ran over speed bumps to fast and barked the car, and probably bottomed the fucker out. Of course Kirby saw them but didn’t say anything. So we told him to quit riding the short bus and speak up. We parked and headed into the restaurant. We decided that Z tejas was going to be a nickname for “shortbus”.

I was going to order the grilled Tuna. Grilled Tuna is delicious. It is comparable to a great steak. Nothing like the can stuff. But I changed my mind when the server talked me into Fajitas. Jeff and I got Bloody Mary’s from the Bloody Mary Create your own bar.

I made a bad one, and drank only half. Sounded better than it tasted. It was a good time.

We then shoed a little looking for deals on shirts. We ended up at a place called My Big Fat Greek Restaurant. Suzie started dinking Daiquiris, the guys beer, and Jeff and I took advantage of what was advertised as cheap Long Island Iced Tea. Turns out that the advertisement saying New Years, was for New years eve. Not really a big deal in scheme of things but we had a good chuckle about it. We saw, or thought we saw Gabe Wies. But noone really knows.

We then went back to our hotel and drank some more. Then after a little unwinding we headed off to a local brewery called Four Peaks. We walked throught the getto to get there. I had a Blue Cheese burger. It was delicious. The other guys split a pizza, which I tried, it was the bomb. When we were leaving, we asked if we could get a picture in the back by the vats. It is a cool picture.

We then again hiked up to Mill Avenue to go to McDuffy’s. Susie and I stopped in the Marriot to use the clean bathrooms. We got to Mcduffies and the guys were pounding. We saw a guy that looked like the bud light guy that weres the helmet and googles. It was funny. We stayed a bit, and then called the media shuttle for a ride back. We wanted to be rested for the game.

So the media shuttle arrived and took us back to our hotel. It was another night in the books, sort of.

We got back to the hotel and we met Cletus. Now, that’s not his real name. But he throws a tailgate called Cletusfest in Columbus. He invited us to his tailgater on Monday, and to go out drinking again that night. Joe took him up, I went back to crash.

Monday came around and you could feel the energy in the air. Ohio State v. Notre Dame. My two favorite teams. Jeff and Susie came back and traded us their tickets so that they could sit together.

We still had to sell our tickets, which we would end up taking a massive hit on. That was truly the only bad thing that happened, and I’m over it now.

We headed up to the stadium. We tailgated at Cletus Fest were we listened to the dead Shembechlers. It turned out that it was a Northwest Ohio reunion. I me the Carpenters form Liberty, saw Tim Downey’s Sister, and niece. Saw Chris Peper, and the Baughman clan again. I even saw Steve Spencer and Matt Rohrs, though they didn’t stop to chat just yelled out my name and waived. Which I thought was bazaar, but fine.

We couldn’t find any takers on our tickets, because everyone had them to sell. They were going for like $100. So we ended up selling them to Jeff Hazer, and his buddy. The cool thing, if there is a cool thing about losing that much money, is that he was originally form Napoleon too.

So we went to go into the stadium. We walked in together but I soon had to leave my friends to find the my way to the field. I checked in and got my free program and goonie vest and walked throught the service tunnel to the field.

The sounds were amazing. It was simply loud. I made my way out on to the field. I immediately saw DUT and the guys and took some pictures. I then walked down the Notre Dame sideline. I got to the far endzone where my friends were sitting. I took more pictures. I then saw Jerry Rice, who I will talk about more later.

I then made my way to the Ohio State Sideline. I saw the beautiful Laura Quinn. So of course I had to get a picture. So I asked her if I could get a picture and she agreed. I talked to her briefly, telling her good luck. Make no mistake, I like both teams, but I was rooting for Ohio State. She, however, was in a predicament. Her Jersey said it all; split, half her brother, half her boyfriend. She expressed her thanks for my statement and shook my hand. And I moved on to find a good spot for the kickoff festivities.

The parachuter’s made quite the entrance to the field delivering the various flags of the game. The game was underway.

I stood at the 30 for most of the game. During the second quarter Jerry Rice came up and stood next to me. I said hello and shook his hand. I talked to him a bit, but I never told him that he was one of the guys I grew up liking. I don’t know if it slipped my mind, or if I wanted to be more professional and not ogle the guy. He and I talked about the receivers for both teams. I was amazed that he didn’t know much about any of them. I was spilling facts out, and talking about coaching High School football. He seemed proud, of that fact. He asked me how long the pass #7 had caught for a TD. I said I thought it was right around 56 yards. Well Jack Arute was there getting ready to interview him, and decide to check my facts. He was talking threw his mike to get the info and came back, “Jerry, that pass was 56 yards.” Jerry looked at me, smiled, and said, “ Hey man, you were right.” We had a good chuckle.

Standing next to me was a Photographer, David Smith. I talked to him for almost the entire first half. He gave me his card and access to his website to view his pictures.
I asked him to take a picture of me and Jerry, but he told me they frowned at that and didn’t want to lose his access to future events. I understood.

At half time I had to pee really bad, but didn’t want to walk back the tunnel to do so, so I asked the security if I could leave and come back from a field entrance. He told me to go use the Notre Dame Locker room. So I did.

Unreal, well I didn’t use the players pisser, but I was in the tunnel with them. I saw the Pat Tilman memorial that was really moving.

I made it back out and watched the rest of the game. I took some pictures of Dan. He didn’t know I was going to be there, so the expression on his face was priceless.

I was standing in one of few other spts at the end of the Buckeye bench, I say the ABC guys, and Eddie George etc. Some young woman was standing next to me and I’m not sure who it was, but she was cute and I said Hi to her. Apparently she was either a coaches wife, daughter, or Bobby Carpenter’s girlfriend cause he gave me a shitty look when she stood next to me.

After the game, I looked for Dye, but couldn’t find him. I did shake hands with Antonio Pittman, I told him hell of a game. He smiled. I also talked with Jim Heacock. He is the Defensive coordinator and the D-line coach. I’ve met him before. I told him the D-line played really well. Hw thanked me, and agreed.

I watched the trophy presentation feet form where it happened. I then walked the field before reaching the end zone seats were my friends stood. I took a great picture of them.

I then walked out and joined them.

We took all of our crap back to the hotel and went to Uno’s for beer and food.

Then Susie and Jeff left and we made our way back to the hotel.

What a game, what an experience.

Tuesday, the last full day we were in Tempe, was fun too. We went to mail some prints and posters we had picked up. Then we ate at the coaches pub or something of the like.

We then went back towards the stadium. I wanted to go dumpster diving looking for gloves and shit, but I held it together and didn’t. We ended up buying a few more shirts and stuff.

We ended up going to the Library. The Library was the coolest bar I may have ever been to. It was like walking into a library or study. There were books on the wall. The monitors all played 80’s hair band videos and the music was real. Pretty neat idea. We stayed there to watch the Penn State game.

We decided that this place would be worth buying the calander, because honestly it was better than hooters. Besides the great atmosphere, the help all were wearing short catholic school girl type uniforms with lots of cleavage to send your mind through a tailspin.

So we got our calendars which were like 10 bucks, but they had $5 coupons in them so they were cheaper in all reality. Kirby decided he was going to roll the dice with said previous girl. Joe and I got our drink on.

We pounded a lot of beer. We ate half price quesadillas and tacos. It was great. Our bar tender was great too. Her name was Dulia. Which is very unique. She flirted heavy with us, and we talked all night. She was a lot of fun. Soon we decided to ask her if she was in out calendar. She became deafly quiet. So Joe and I scrambled to find her. Once we did we asked her to sign it. She wrote colorful things to us, stuff your mom shouldn’t read. I found out she was studying to become a chemistry teacher. I tried to talk her into moving to Ohio, it was fun and innocent. Soon we decide that she should sign Kirby’s calendar. We asked her to write, “Dear Kirby….Go Fuck yourself!” This was all in fun since we had been Kirby this all week. She hesitated, but I convinced her that nothing would come of it. So When Kirby finally got home and looked at his calendar he was surprised. “fucking Dicks.” Or something of the like rolled out of his mouth.

Sometime before we closed our bill Kirby had called and asked me to get him a shot glass from Hooters. I said I would, and crawled up to Hooters, which was upstairs. I’m not sure how I made it there and back.

Joe and I rooted on Penn State as they escaped Florida State in a good game. Then we took care of our bill, tipping Dulia nicely. We had over a hondo in bar tab. It was well worth it.

Going home was a treat. Joe was hammered. He tried to get on a bus; God knows where it was going. I convinced him to keep walking. We got to walking and watered everything we could find. It was like letting the dog outside. We even climbed a small hill, or attempted at least. Good thing we stopped because there was a bike cop around the corner. We continued home to the hotel. We stopped at another bar for a drink,, met a couple of girls from Arizona. We talked a bit, bargained fro yet another sign and then headed home.

We left the next morning. Phoenix to Denver was uneventful, but Denver was a long stop. We all got the shits eating Mexican food. We couldn’t find dip that wasn’t fine. We were delayed 6 hours or so. So we got to watch the first half of Texas v USC. We all rooted for Texas by the way.

Finally we boarded and were on our way. Kirby and I managed seat upgrades, not to first class, but I had lots of leg room! We listened to Texas as the drove to win. Finally we arrived in Detroit.

In Detroit we waited like 45 minutes to get our luggage. Then we headed for the car. After a bit of confusion we paid our hefty parking bill and went home. It was a great trip. Something I’m not likely going to forget anytime soon.